⚫Can't-Even Zone
When your brain just... doesn't. Not won't. Can't.
I've been staring at this page for twenty minutes trying to write about Can't-Even Zone and the irony isn't lost on me.
It's when you open your laptop and your brain just... doesn't. Not won't. Can't. Like when you try to start your car and it makes that clicking sound but nothing happens. Except it's your brain making the clicking sound.
Yesterday I sat at my desk for three hours and accomplished: moving my water bottle twice. Opening Slack. Closing Slack. Opening Slack again because I forgot I'd already checked it. That's Can't-Even.
This isn't burnout exactly
Burnout is like... you're still running but on fumes. ⚫Can't-Even is when the engine won't even turn over. Your executive function—the part that sequences tasks and makes decisions—it's just gone. Offline. Error 404.
I tried to explain this to my manager once. "I can't prioritize the priorities." She looked at me like I was speaking backwards. But that's the thing—the part of your brain that decides what to do first? Sometimes it just leaves. No note. No ETA for return.
When the exhaustion goes deeper than burnout, when your brain won't even engage, you might need to rebuild your emotional resilience from the ground up.
You know you're here when
Everything feels like asking someone with a broken leg to run a marathon. Reply to an email? Might as well ask me to solve the Israel-Palestine conflict. Make a phone call? I'd rather perform surgery on myself.
The worst is when people say "just pick one small thing." Buddy, the part of me that picks things is what's broken.
I've started recognizing it by the laptop dance. Open laptop. Stare. Feel overwhelming dread. Close laptop. Feel guilty. Wait 45 minutes. Repeat. It's like Groundhog Day but sadder and with worse snacks.
Oh and lying down. Not sleeping. Just... horizontal. Like maybe gravity will fix whatever's wrong.
What sort of helps
Look, I'm not going to pretend I have answers. I'm literally writing this in Can't-Even right now. But here's what sometimes works:
The breathing thing
Breathe out longer than you breathe in. I don't know why this helps but sometimes it tricks your nervous system into thinking you're okay. Four counts in, six counts out. Or whatever. Just make the out longer.
Making things quieter
Not fixing everything. Just... less. Close one tab. Just one. Turn off one notification. I turned off Slack badges last week and it was like someone turned down the panic volume by 10%.
Cold water on your wrists
I don't know why this works. Something about the vagus nerve. Or maybe it's just that you did something, anything, that wasn't sitting there hating yourself.
The smallest possible thing
And I mean SMALLEST. Not "finish the report." More like "open the document." Not "clean the kitchen." More like "put one fork in the dishwasher." Sometimes that one tiny thing creates just enough momentum to do one more tiny thing. Sometimes it doesn't and that's okay too.
If these micro-steps feel impossible, that's when you know your focus and self-management systems need a complete reset, not just another productivity hack.
When you have to show up anyway
I've started telling people. Not the whole thing, just "I'm having an executive function day. Can you give me specific tasks instead of open-ended ones?"
Most people don't get it but they usually comply. "Review the strategic options" becomes "tell me if you prefer option A or B." That I can sometimes do.
- If someone needs decisions: "I don't have decision capacity today. Pick what you think is best and I'll implement it."
- For meetings: "I need to preserve what focus I have for [whatever]. Can I review notes after?"
- Sometimes I just say "I'm at very low capacity today" and leave it at that.
People fill in their own explanations. Usually they assume I'm sick or dealing with something personal. They're not wrong exactly.
The thing nobody tells you
It comes and goes. That's the mindfuck of it. Monday you're fine, Tuesday your brain won't brain. You start doubting yourself. Am I lazy? Am I broken? Why can't I just...?
You're not lazy. Your nervous system is doing what nervous systems do when they've been in the 🔴red too long. It's protecting you from something. Probably from the seventeen plates you've been spinning while pretending everything's fine.
If this is most days
If you're here more than you're not here, that's different. That's when you need to talk to someone who went to school for this. Can't-Even is supposed to be occasional, not your default setting.
I finally talked to someone when I realized I'd been in Can't-Even for three straight weeks. Turns out there's a difference between situational exec dysfunction and clinical depression. Who knew. (Everyone. Everyone knew. I just thought I was tired.)
I was going to write more but I just spent five minutes staring at the cursor and forgot what point I was making.
Just... if you're here, you're not alone. Half my team is probably in Can't-Even right now but we're all pretending to be in 🟢Green Zone because that's what LinkedIn tells us we should be.
Start with breathing. Or water. Or just admitting this is where you are today.
That's all I got.