I Tried to Learn Something New and My Brain Said "Nope"
A brutally honest take on learning, zones, and why we're all pretending to be fine when we're definitely not fine
So I'm sitting here reading about how we're supposed to test ourselves to learn better, and honestly? My first thought was "great, another thing I'm supposed to be doing that I'm not."
You know that feeling when you read about some cognitive science breakthrough and think "cool, but my brain is currently operating at like 15% capacity because I stayed up watching Netflix"? That's where I live most days. Actually not Netflix. YouTube videos about people restoring old tools. I don't even own tools. Why am I watching a guy sand rust off a vise at 2am? No idea but here we are.
Anyway. Testing. Apparently it's the best way to learn? Some study says... actually I don't remember what the study says exactly. Something about retrieval and encoding. The idea is you quiz yourself, get it wrong, and then somehow remember it forever because your brain hates being wrong.
They just let me keep saying it until finally someone was like "you know his name is Keith right?" and now I have this whole internal panic every time I see him where my brain goes KEITH KEITH KEITH KEITH and one day I'm definitely going to accidentally yell KEVIN just to spite myself.
The Thing About Learning When You're Already...
I don't know how to finish that sentence. Drowning sounds too dramatic. Tired sounds too simple.
It's more like... you know when you're trying to clean your apartment but you keep moving things from one surface to another and nothing actually gets cleaner, it just gets rearranged? That. That's my brain trying to learn things right now.
All the learning advice assumes you have this pristine mental workspace. Your brain is supposedly some Swedish minimalist apartment with one succulent and perfect lighting. Mine's more like... actually mine's exactly like my actual apartment where I currently have three half-empty coffee cups on my desk and a pile of mail I'm pretending doesn't exist.
So there's this framework about zones. I learned about it last week. Or was it two weeks ago? Time isn't real anymore.
The Zone System
🟢 Green (0-3): Your brain works. You can do hard things.
🟡 Yellow (4-7): You need lists and structure.
🔴 Red (8-10): Just surviving.
That's it. That's the whole thing. Except nobody talks about what happens when you're at like a 6.5 all the time. Not quite yellow, not quite red, just this weird beige zone where you're functional but also everything feels hard and you can't explain why.
Actually wait, that IS yellow. I just described yellow. Never mind. When you're overwhelmed by basic decisions, it might be time to explore stress mastery techniques that actually work.
The Problem With "How Are You?"
Someone asks "how are you?" and we say "fine" even when we're at a solid 9 and our lunch was coffee and whatever those crackers were. When did I even buy those crackers? They had seeds on them. I don't buy crackers with seeds.
What if we asked "what's your zone?" instead?
I tried this with my team. It went weird at first. My coworker said "I don't know, like a 12?" and I said the scale only goes to 10 and she said "exactly." Which... fair.
But then it caught on? Kind of? Now people put it in their Slack. "Yellow zone - async only." "Red zone - emails might be nonsense."
We started calling the really bad days "Can't-Even Mode" which is a stupid name. Really stupid. But also it perfectly describes that feeling when someone asks you to do something simple like "send that file" and your brain just goes "no. cannot. will not. absolutely not." even though it would take 30 seconds.
Something About Pillars
There are these ten life skill things. Boundaries. Priorities. Emotional something. I literally have a tab open right now with them listed and I'm not going to look at it because that feels like cheating.
The old way would be: here's all ten! With a motivational poster! Be your best self!
Where was I going with this? Right. Learning. The testing thing.
Actually no wait. I was talking about Jeff somebody who took a contractor's exam. Or maybe it wasn't Jeff. Names are hard. Someone took an exam just to see what would happen, failed a bunch of it, but then remembered everything he got wrong. Something about bolts and sill plates that my brain has decided is permanent information now even though I will never build anything that requires knowing about sill plates.
My Manager Just Slacked Me
Hold on.
Okay back. She wanted to know about a project I completely forgot existed. I said I was in yellow zone and would get to it tomorrow. She said "ok."
That's it. Just "ok."
Is this progress? I don't know.
The thing about testing yourself to learn is that it assumes you have the energy to test yourself. What if you don't? What if you're just trying to remember if you responded to that important email or if you just thought about responding really hard?
(I didn't respond. I just checked. It's from last Tuesday. Shit.)
If the constant mental juggling feels familiar, you might benefit from focus and self-management strategies designed for real-world chaos.
Companies and Money and Billions
Companies lose billions because people aren't engaged or whatever. I'm supposed to put a stat here but honestly? We all know it's true. Look around your next Zoom call. Half of us have the dead-eye stare of someone who's physically present but mentally writing their grocery list.
Milk. Bread. Those crackers but WITHOUT seeds this time.
My team's been trying this zone thing for maybe a month now? People actually say "that's a green zone task, saving it for tomorrow" and we all just... accept it? Like oh yeah, that makes sense, you're at a 7, don't try to write that strategy doc.
Oh Right I'm Supposed to Sell You Something
There's this 30-minute reset thing that uses these principles. It figures out your zone and gives you what you can handle. Red zone? Maybe just breathing exercises or something. Green zone? Actual complex learning about boundaries and whatever the other nine pillars are.
It's free to try. Then $34.99/month which is... let me think. Two drinks? Three if you go to the dive bar but honestly their drinks are mostly ice. Annual is $299 which is supposedly better value but requires believing you'll still care about this in a year.
reset → build → thrive
I hate that I have to write that. It sounds so... coached. But whatever, that's the tagline apparently.
The Thing Nobody Mentions
Our break room has a zone chart now. Someone printed it out and laminated it, which feels very official. It says "It's okay to be red" at the bottom which shouldn't be revolutionary but Jennifer literally cried when she saw it.
Or maybe she was crying about something else. We didn't ask. She was at a 9.
I don't know if this is changing anything. Probably not. We're still all tired and overwhelmed and I still don't know what a sill plate is for even though I know about the bolts.
But yesterday someone said "I'm at an 8" in a meeting and three people immediately said "what do you need?" instead of pretending not to notice. So that's... something?
I Don't Know How to End This
Imagine if workplaces actually worked with how our brains work instead of against them. Imagine if "I'm in Can't-Even Mode" was as acceptable as calling in sick.
Actually no. I can't imagine it. That requires optimism and I'm at like a 6.8 right now and optimism is green zone territory.
Just... try the zone thing. Or don't. Try the reset thing. Or don't. I'm supposed to convince you but honestly I'm too tired to be convincing.
That seems like progress.
Sort of.
P.S. - I never linked to anything. The reset thing is... somewhere. Google it. Or don't. I'm not your boss.
P.P.S. - This is too long and I'm not editing it. If you made it this far you're probably procrastinating something too. Go answer that email you've been avoiding. I should go answer mine. I won't, but I should.
P.P.P.S. - wait do people do three P.S.'s? Is that allowed? Whatever I'm doing it.
