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Manifesting

manifesting

That Thing Where Your Voice Shakes in Meetings (And Why Fighting It Makes It Worse)

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Tuesday morning. Brad asks me to "walk everyone through Q3 real quick."

Real quick.

My chest gets tight. Voice starts doing that shaky thing like I'm about to cry even though I'm just terrified of spreadsheets I literally created myself. Speed-read through slides while gripping the clicker so hard it left marks. Karen from HR took notes. Brad did his concerned face (which looks exactly like his constipated face btw).

Sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes eating vending machine Cheetos and googling "how to fake your own death and start over in Vermont."

Life Skills for Professionals →

This wasn't new. Been doing variations of the shake-voice thing since my first job at that terrible startup where the CEO made us do trust falls every Monday. Always the same:

Someone puts me on the spot → chest tightness → voice gets weird → try to push through → make it 1000x worse → parking lot breakdown with snacks.

Tried everything. Power poses in the bathroom (caught by Brad once, never recovered). Meditation apps that told me to "breathe into my anxiety" which... what does that even mean? Beta blockers from my doctor that made me feel like a zombie who still had presentation anxiety but now also couldn't feel my face.

Then my therapist said something that pissed me off.

"What if you stopped trying to not be anxious?"

I'm sorry, WHAT? I'm paying you $150 an hour to tell me to just... keep being anxious? Thanks for nothing, Lauren.

But then she explained this thing about how fighting anxiety actually makes it worse. Like your amygdala (panic brain) sees you fighting and thinks "oh shit, this must be REALLY dangerous if we're fighting this hard" and doubles down. Confidence & Calm Under Pressure actually teaches this—it's like quicksand. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

She mentioned some app. Emergent Skills or something. I ignored her because I was still mad about the "stop trying" comment.

But then Tuesday happened. And when you're googling "jobs that don't require speaking" at 2 AM, you know something needs to change.

Downloaded it at 2:47 AM. First thing it did was make me map out my actual triggers. Not just "presentations" but specifically what about them. Turns out it wasn't all presentations. Just ones where:

  • Brad was there (sensing a theme)
  • I hadn't prepared for questions
  • Senior people were watching
  • I was put on the spot

Then it taught me this paradoxical acceptance thing where instead of trying to stop the shaking, you literally tell yourself "I'm going to shake and that's okay."

Which sounds like giving up but apparently your brain can't maintain panic when you're not fighting it? Again, not a neuroscientist. Just someone whose voice doesn't sound like a broken blender anymore.

Next day. Brad pulls his classic "can you just quickly update everyone on..." move.

Chest got tight. But this time I just... let it? Told myself "voice might shake, that's fine." Started talking.

And... my voice shook. For like 10 seconds. Then it just... stopped?

Not because I forced it to stop. But because I wasn't fighting it. My stupid anxiety brain got bored when I stopped struggling and moved on.

Made it through the whole update. Even answered Brad's follow-up questions without dissociating. Nobody took notes. Nobody asked if I was okay. Just a normal Wednesday where I did my job without having a breakdown.

Revolutionary.

Still get anxious. Still hate presenting to Brad (still hate Brad tbh). Sometimes my voice still does the thing. But I'm not afraid of the anxiety anymore. Recovery takes minutes, not hours. No more parking lot Cheetos shame spirals.

Actually scratch that—I still eat Cheetos in my car sometimes but now it's just because I like Cheetos.


Recent research shows workplace disengagement costs $8.8 trillion globally. But you know what else kills productivity? Spending half your meetings fighting your own voice box.

Ready to Stop Fighting Your Own Voice?

If you're reading this at 3 AM because you can't stop replaying that meeting where your voice betrayed you... maybe try the thing that actually helps. 30 minutes. Real techniques that work with your nervous system instead of against it.

Worst case, you waste half an hour. Best case, you stop being afraid of your own voice.

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P.S. — Brad still sucks but at least now I can present to him without sounding like I'm delivering financial forecasts while riding a mechanical bull.

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Life Skills - Emotional Intelligence - Soft Skills

The Emergent Skills Program (Yeah, There's Actually a Method to This)

Look, I get it. Another program. Another system. But here's the thing — these 10 pillars? They're literally everything that's been kicking my ass for years, organized into something that actually makes sense. Especially when you're stuck in 🟡 Yellow Zone at 2 PM wondering why basic tasks feel like calculus.

Thirty minutes to stop the spiral. Thirty days to start the fix. Stick around longer if you want to actually master it. Works even when you're 🔴 Red Zone. Maybe especially then.

So I discovered something at 3 AM last Tuesday. Every single panic spiral, every frozen presentation moment, every "why can't I just DO THE THING" — it all fits into one of these 10 categories. And apparently LinkedIn says these are the exact skills that get people promoted? Wild.

The kicker: We use AI coaches exclusively. No awkward video calls with Brad the life coach at 7 AM. Just you, your brain, and an AI that remembers your specific flavor of panic. Plus it scales to whatever Zone you're in — full version when you're 🟢 Green, tiny version when you're Red and just trying not to cry in the bathroom.

OK So Here's What Nobody Tells You

Every single one of these skills? Connected. Fix your sleep, suddenly you can focus. Manage stress, confidence goes up. It's like your brain has been playing life on hard mode and someone finally showed you the settings menu.

The real secret? All these skills are about moving up through the Zones. Spending more time in 🟢 Green, less time in 🔴 Red, knowing what to do when you're stuck in 🟡 Yellow.

The Four Zones (Your Nervous System's Operating Manual)

  • 🟢 Green Zone: Capacity mode — focus, empathy, creativity all online
  • 🟡 Yellow Zone: Strain mode — high effort, diminishing returns
  • 🔴 Red Zone: Survival mode — just trying not to make mistakes
  • Can't-Even Zone: Shutdown — system offline

Every tool in Emergent Skills scales to your Zone. Because "just do better" doesn't work when your nervous system's in survival mode.

The Emotional Intelligence Part

  • Finally understanding WTF you're feeling. Red? Yellow? Green? Changes everything.
  • Not letting emotions hijack your whole day. Recognizing Red Zone spirals before they eat your afternoon.
  • Reading rooms without being creepy. Sensing other people's Zones equals social intelligence.
  • Navigating office politics like an adult. Requires Yellow/Green minimum.

The Career ROI Part

  • Showing up consistently. Bare minimum, still counts. Yellow Zone reliability beats Red Zone heroics.
  • Speaking without your voice shaking. Yellow/Green vocal control equals executive presence.
  • Being the calm one when shit hits fan. Staying Green while everyone else goes Red.
  • Actually collaborating, not just cc'ing.

The Science-y Part

  • Your patterns aren't your personality. They're just Red Zone survival habits that stuck.
  • Interrupting spirals before they start. Catching Yellow before it crashes into Red.
  • Techniques based on actual research. Polyvagal theory equals Zone Framework in fancy language.
  • Building new neural pathways. Teaching your nervous system Green exists.

McKinsey says improving well-being could unlock $11.7 trillion in value. For you? More energy, better focus, being the one who gets tapped for opportunities while everyone else is burning out.

You're in Green/Yellow while the competition's stuck in Red. That's not talent. That's capacity management.

The AI coach doesn't judge when you practice the same anxiety technique 47 times at 3 AM. No awkward "how does that make you feel" conversations. Just you, figuring out how to stop self-sabotaging, one 30-minute session at a time.

And it scales to your Zone. Full coaching in Green, bite-sized basics in Yellow, survival mode scripts in Red. Because you can't "think positive" your way out of a nervous system state, but you can give it better tools.

Pick Your Biggest Problem & Start Fixing It

Thirty minutes to stop the spiral. Thirty days to start the fix. Stick around longer to master it. 
(Works in any Zone. Especially the bad ones.)

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